When I learned last Wednesday that the CT scan showed probable cancer in my liver, I made the mistake of going online and looking up mortality rates. Bad idea.
Sure, many people with stage four breast cancer will die within the first two years, but I am most unlikely to be one of them. And it is true that not all that many years ago, this would be time to start planning my funeral, but that is no longer true.
Today John and I met with my oncologist, Dr Wilks, and she assures me that she expects the chemo to shrink these tumors to nothing. And we'll know it's working because we'll be watching with frequent CT scans. I'm hoping for a nice 10 year remission, like many other women in my situation have achieved. Maybe even longer, God willing.
I have a terminal illness, but it will take a long time to finish me off. I am strong and healthy and much loved. And I will fight this disease with fierce determination.
So, yes, my liver biopsy shows that the 2 masses are metastasized invasive lobular cancer. That means the cells from my main tumor in the breast have travelled to the liver and grown 2 tumors that are each just under 3cm. My bone scan was clear and my lungs and other organs look clear, but since the cancer cells have escaped the original site and travelled throughout my body, it's probable that there are other places where the cancer has taken hold, but the tumors are too small to see. That is why I will be treated systemically with Paclitaxel, which will kill any fast growing cells in my body.
My first chemo treatment will be this Friday, April 26. After that I'll have them on Wednesdays. Three weeks on then one week off. They will continue until the tumors are gone. If this drug does not work for me, there are many others to try.
I really got upset last week, feeling that I was on death's door. I was walking around like in the book "Goodnight Moon", saying goodbye to everything I love. It made me feel like I was already dead.
But I'm not. And I'm not likely to be any time soon.
For me this is an exercise in trusting God and letting go.
From what I've heard that works great when tried.
I am trying!
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Miss Jimmie you are loved, hold on tight, that's all you gotta do. Hold on.
ReplyDeleteLove you! You are amazing and strong and I am constantly sending happy healing prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteEven though we really didn't know each other in school, I have learned a lot about you through family & close friends.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have seen & heard, you are one tough cookie! You live life to the fullest and nothing is going to take you down without a fight.
So,continue to fight and take everything one day at a time. Grow in your faith and give everything up to God~ He will show you the way.
You are loved by many and have many talents, I hope one day soon I will be able to hear you sing.
I will continue to pray for full healing & help you through the tough times.
The way you sang your heart out last night; you are very much alive and will be for a long long time! You are beautiful, talented and very much loved by so many.
ReplyDeleteKeep singing, Jimmie!
Love, hugs and prayers.
Kathleen